


The Other Side Of The Door

by hansungchan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Hinted Mental Instability, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23754802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hansungchan/pseuds/hansungchan
Summary: To which Jaemin dreams of what-ifs, had he taken the courage to open the door that night.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	The Other Side Of The Door

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea came up to me last midnight, and mind you I was really down and sad. So voila, another angsty RenMin fanfic was born! Lol. I was thinking if I should set the Major Character Death warning as I don't want to spoil too much but in the end, I still put it nonetheless. Haha. Hope you'll like this and I know I suck at summaries, but I wish the story itself could make up for it. :<
> 
> Anyway, the title of this one-shot is from a Taylor Swift song with the same title. The song also sort of fits the story. You can listen to it if you want. Though this is not actually inspired by it. I just randomly listen to the song which was downloaded on my laptop and thought, "Hey, this song represents the main message of my story so why not use it?" 
> 
> Sorry for the long note. Enjoy reading! 
> 
> \- sungchan

**_"I keep going back over things we both said  
And I remember the slamming door and all the things that I misread"_ **

**_\- Taylor Swift, The Other Side Of The Door_ **

They’re fighting. Again. Though this time it’s been a while. A while that the suffocating silence and the tension in the air have become a little strange for Jaemin. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or not. What’s worse, is the current situation he is in. Outside of their room, trying to open the door that was obviously locked.

Jaemin knocked three times. “Renjun! Huang Renjun, open the door!”

So maybe it has really been a while, that Jaemin doesn’t have any idea how to handle the situation anymore. Or maybe it’s just really a bad timing. But really, is there even a considered perfect timing for couples to fight? The thing is, right now, both Jaemin and Renjun failed to keep their emotions in check. So when Renjun opened the door, not even bothering to glance at Jaemin before going back to their bed, _Jaemin just lost it_.

“Seriously Renjun?! You’re acting like that again?! Like a childish brat denied of his favorite toy?!”

A part of Jaemin’s mind screamed for him to stop. But right now, his anger is so overwhelming. And Renjun’s silence and blank stares heightened that emotion.

Jaemin wished he could scream in frustration. He really does. As much as his boyfriend can make him jump in happiness with simple things, he also has the ability to make Jaemin shout in frustration because of their petty fights. In the end, Jaemin opts to stay silent. He runs his hand through his locks and coldly said, “What _is_ the problem?”

It took Renjun a couple of minutes to respond, with the same icy tone. If not, maybe much more. “You said you’d be home early.”

Jaemin closed his eyes and leaned on the doorway, fingers pressing at the bridge of his nose. A part of him wants to say, _‘Just because of that you’re acting like this?!’_ “I thought I told you I’ll have dinner with my office mates? What in that sentence did you _not_ understand?”

Renjun faced him, mouth opening to say something only to stop midair. His shoulders slumped once more as he looked away, staying silent. Jaemin sighed. “If you don’t want me to sleep with you tonight, fine. I’m tired, Renjun. I really am.”

Jaemin walks to the bed and picks up his pillows. Renjun looking away. The darkness of the room hides whatever emotion that shows in Renjun’s face.

Right when Jaemin was close to the door, Renjun finally spoke. His voice a little softer, a little weaker. But he tried his best to not crack in the middle. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll sleep in the spare room. Just have the bed all to yourself.”

With that, Jaemin left the room. But leaving the door open. Because maybe, just maybe, he’s waiting for Renjun. For Renjun to end this nonsense fight. Waiting for that warm pair of hands enveloped around his waist, and that soft angelic voice, asking him to stay. But it didn’t come. So Jaemin entered the room just beside Renjun’s. Cold air greeting him as soon as he is inside.

Jaemin and Renjun’s relationship started as housemates. When they were still both struggling with university and both a little too innocent to fall in love. The spare room used to be Jaemin’s. He used to be so familiar with it, he used to feel comfy with that soft mattress. But after years of leaving it empty for Renjun’s much warmer bed, the room doesn’t feel right at all.

So Jaemin stared blankly at the walls. The much-needed rest he’s been craving for since that afternoon is now forgotten. The night is too quiet. Too quiet that he swore he can feel his own heart breaking.

Deep inside, Jaemin regrets those words said. Somehow, even with Renjun trying his best to hide it, Jaemin knew the smaller is a little _too_ sensitive with everything. He remembered the first time he saw Renjun cry. It didn’t happen until after three years of them dating. Renjun would rather swallow all his emotions than to share it with other people. If Jaemin knew better, he’d mistake Renjun for a cold person, a heartless one.

But he isn’t. Renjun, if ever, may feel things twice as much as others do. And at times like this, Jaemin wished he could understand the enigma that is Renjun.

The clock strike at eleven. It’s been an hour and Jaemin swore the silence of the house is suffocating. Like a poison running through his veins, he couldn’t take it.

It was then, at that moment, when Jaemin stood from the bed. He walked at the door, grasp the doorknob, and was about to twist it open when something stopped him. Perhaps it was his pride, his anger that is still talking. Stopping him from closing the distance between him and Renjun.

He clenched his fist so tight, and the cold steel doorknob was burning in his palm.

_No._ He’ll talk to Renjun _tonight_. He won’t wait until he wakes up. _He can’t._ The anger will subside soon, but the loneliness of the night, that he can’t endure.

Jaemin opened the door. And went straight to Renjun’s. He twisted the doorknob, hoping it was unlocked. And it _is_

He breathed a sigh of relief when he entered that familiar room. Renjun is sitting at the bed, hugging his knees. Head dipped down. Nothing was audible enough except for the small muffled sobs he tried so hard to stop from coming out. And Jaemin cannot wait long enough. And he won’t. He stalked to their bed and pull the crying boy in his arms.

“J-Jaemin?”

Jaemin tried to smile, highly aware that his own tears are flowing freely on his cheeks. Still, he wiped Renjun’s tears with his thumb and said, “Look now, this is the second time I finally see you cry. Not that I want you to. But with you crying, at least I can do this.” He hugs the boy to his chest, kissing the top of that fluffy black hair that smells of strawberry shampoo.

And in a matter of seconds, he can feel a wet patch forming on his chest from Renjun’s tears.

Jaemin runs his hand at his lover’s back. “I’m sorry, Renjun. I guess that’s all that I really want to say. Sorry for not coming back early. Sorry for missing that dinner that I should have spent with you. Sorry for shouting and for every painful word that comes after. I didn’t mean it. I don’t care if you’re childish. I don’t care if you get mad at simple things. I don’t care if you locked that door, accidentally or not. It doesn’t matter. I’ll always knock, Renjun. I’ll always open that door. Because I’d rather spend the night fighting with you than without you at all.”

Jaemin pulled away to cup Renjun’s tear-stained face. Smiling as he said, “I love you, Huang Renjun. And no amounts of fights will ever change that.”

Renjun smiled, and for once that night, the tears coming out from the latter’s eyes are of happy ones. He reached out to wipe away Jaemin’s tears before his face went completely blank.

“Then why didn’t you open the door that night, Jaemin? Why did you let me _disappear_ , all alone, that cold night? Where were you when this bed was drenched in warm _blood_?”

Jaemin looked at Renjun in confusion. Renjun’s response is a sad smile.

***

_The clock strike at eleven. It’s been an hour and Jaemin swore the silence of the house is suffocating. Like a poison running through his veins, he couldn’t take it._

_It was then, at that moment, when Jaemin stood from the bed. He walked at the door, grasp the doorknob, and was about to twist it open when something stopped him. Perhaps it was his pride, his anger that is still talking. Stopping him from closing the distance between him and Renjun._

_He clenched his fist so tight, and the cold steel doorknob was burning in his palm._

_He’ll talk to Renjun the next morning. As soon as he wakes up. When the anger subsides, and they can think more rationally._

_Jaemin locked the door._


End file.
